How To Re-Kindle Your Romance And Get Back That Spark

Whether you’re trying to win back the love of your life or you’re trying to re-kindle a flame that seems to smolder rather than burn brightly, then this is for you.

Once you’ve been in a relationship for a while it’s easy to get comfortable.  There’s nothing wrong with that after all, life happens and with it comes our share of responsibilities that seem to eat up an ever increasing portion of our lives.

This is often how the stress cracks begin to emerge, even in the strongest of relationships and though we would often like to think so, no one is immune to its effects.

But just as you both had a spark for each other at the beginning of the relationship, or the “honeymoon” phase, you can recapture that again.

A relationship is always a work in progress, there’s no such thing as disappearing into the sunset and having your “happily ever after” without a little work.  Life continues long after the Disney fairy tale ending.

What we don’t see in those Disney fairy tales is what happens after “happily ever after.”  We never get to see Sleeping Beauty juggle time between the three kids, making lunches, the constant drives to school playing taxi driver, the matted hair because she’s too busy putting everyone else first that she’s not even on her own list of priorities, worrying about all of the bills, if their father is spending enough time with his children, PTA meetings, soccer games, chess tournaments, school performances, dinner, her children’s education, the future, etc.  In fact poor Sleeping Beauty barely has enough time to do the one thing that made her famous in the first place, to sleep.

What about Prince Charming?  Has he fared out any better?  Long after the fairy tale movie ending you won’t find him holed up in his castle twiddling his thumbs, in fact we hardly ever get to see him because he puts in 10-12 hour work days to make a living, worrying about if he has adequate medical coverage for his entire family, if there’s enough food on the table to feed everyone, if his son will have have the braces he needs, if he’ll get the promotion so he can better afford to look after his family but of course the sacrifice means more time at work.

Mounting stress from increasing responsibilities at work equals the amount of guilt he feels for not being at home more.

At the end of their day, these two barely have enough time or energy for each other, not for lack of trying but simply because there’s nothing else left in them to give.

It’s easy for anyone’s relationship to change over time, after all “life” happens to us all and even though it may always seem as though there aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything we need to do, let alone afford time to nurture our relationships, we have to.  It must become a priority.
Tending your relationship is important, it’s the glue that binds everything together and is well worth the time investment.  You may not have extra time, but you plan for it.  Anything that’s worth it you should always make time for and your relationship is no exception.

So how do you re-ignite the lost spark in your relationship?

It’s easier than you think.  If you can’t afford a huge time commitment, then steal moments.

Here are 10 fantastic romantic tips that will put the love back into your relationship and get you back on track.

1. The Man In The Mirror
If you want to breathe new life into your lack luster relationship, you first need to look at yourself.

It’s true what they say that in order to change anything in this life, we first need to look within ourselves, that the change first begins with us.  It’s true, ever changed the way you treated someone and notice their reaction toward you, both positive or negative?  It’s goes back to the basic fundamental principles of physics that states that for every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction (Isaac Newton).  This principle applies to relationships too.  However you treat a person for the positive or the negative will come back to you with same energy.

So if you want to be treated with more love and affection you need to give it first resulting in receiving the treatment you want in return.

Be more loving, more affectionate.  Be more complimentary, find the good things about your partner or ex partner and tell them.

So be the change that you want to see, if you want your partner to love and acknowledge you, set the tone for that type of behavior first.

2. Communication Is Key
Learn to become an effective communicator, part of communication is also to listen.  Talking to and listening to your partner makes them feel acknowledged, valued and loved and will help you to reconnect with them on a deeper more meaningful level.

3. Show Random Acts Of Affection
I can’t find a better example of a couple that has defied the Hollywood stereotype of divorce.  While you have celebrities splashed all over the news each day highlighting breakups and whose relationships are about to hit the skids there is a couple that flies under the radar and have defied the odds despite being heavily stacked against them, they are Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith.

The reason why they keep their relationship alive and strong even after 16 years of marriage isn’t a given, in fact it’s the product of hard work.

They’ve worked to keep their marriage thriving and they do it with thoughtful little gestures each and every day with notes that say “I love you” placed everywhere to remind them of their commitment and love for each other.

Why not take a page from their book and try it for yourself?

4. Push The Reset Button
Don’t we all wish we had one of these?  No matter how angry we got during an argument or the things we said in the heat of the moment that we could push a magic reset button and in a heartbeat take back all of the pain and hurt emotions.

Unfortunately no such button exists outside of a Harry Potter novel but it’s up to you to make that happen each and every day of your life.

Always see each day as a new beginning to potentially start over again.  Remember each day what drew you to your partner or your ex in the first place.  Why did you fall in love with them?  What do you appreciate about them above all others?  Get to know one another again, re-acquaint yourselves and reminisce about the special times that only the two of you have shared.  Remember that each day is a gift, treat it as such.

5. Set A Relationship Goal
Working collectively on a goal not only unifies you and your partner but it gives you something tangible to work towards.  Re-evaluate the things in your life, what’s important to the pair of you?  Where would you like to see the direction your relationship moving in 1, 2 or even 5 years from now?  Write them down together and then hold each other to those goals to make them work.  Make each other accountable for your part in the achievement of those goals and you’ll further strengthen and fortify your relationship.

6. Be Calm and Collected
If it was your behavior that had caused a dent in your relationship and caused it to cool, then change it.  We humans are the only creatures with the true grasp of self awareness, if there are things about your behavior that you need to work on, then do so.

7. Validate and Show Appreciation
I know when you’ve been in a relationship for a while that it’s easy to take things for granted.  You automatically assume that your partner knows you love and appreciate them, although it never hurts to verbalize it.  Always acknowledge the good things they do and how to makes your life better.

8. Make Better Relationship Oriented Choices
Do you need to work as many hours as you do?  Could you make more time for your partner/family?  Could you work a little less or leave the office a little earlier if it means more time at home with your partner?  Your relationship is determined by the choices you make and how you use your time.  Re-evaluate your priorities and put your relationship on that list.  It’s easy to get caught up in work but these are the silent relationship killers that sneak up on us all.  In short, make more time for the important things in life.

9. Spontaneity Is The Spice Of Life
Get the mystery back.  Do things spur of the moment where the mood takes you.  Go for an unplanned drive in the country.  Go to dinner at a restaurant you’ve always wanted to go to but were always too busy.  Life is for living NOW!, not for next week or next month or “when I get around to it”, life is too short to delay enjoying it for another day, now is the perfect time.  Which would you rather have, a life time of “I wish” or “memories” from actually living your life?  You’ve got one life to live, make it a good one.

10. Date Nights
These aren’t just for the newly dating.  Your relationship needs renewing on a daily basis to keep it strong and when you let it slide even for a month or two that’s when things begin to take its toll.
This is a great way to reacquaint yourself with your ex or your current partner.  The danger always sets into a relationship when you think you know everything there is to know about your partner.  Let’s be honest, you’re never going to know everything there is to know about them despite what you may think.

They’re a great mystery waiting to be discovered if you’ll only take the time to ask and dig a little deeper.  If you think you know everything about your partner, you haven’t dug deep enough.

Not only will you learn something new but it will renew and revitalize your relationship every single day.

So reconnect, keep it new and go on date nights.

You have in the palm of your hand all of the techniques to re-invigorate your relationship and to recapture that spark you felt was lost.

It never was, it may have been buried for a while, but even from a smoldering ember can come a burgeoning fire.

Remember this: It is much wiser to learn to remake the future than to continue to relive the past.

Keep that in the front of your mind each day as you continually work for a better, stronger relationship with the love of your life.